


Plug away

by subito



Category: Pointless RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:52:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subito/pseuds/subito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The perfect birthday is an idea Xander has thought up and developed over the years, something to do with the ever-present urge to impress his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plug away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



It’s the end of November and, again, Richard’s birthday happens to fall on a day when they aren’t filming. They’ve had all kinds of birthdays together over the years - drunken birthdays at Trinity, belated birthdays when they were tied up in different projects, quiet birthdays at home with a meal and their families – but never the perfect birthday. The perfect birthday is an idea Xander has thought up and developed over the years, something to do with the ever-present urge to impress his friend. 

It’s the last day of November and Xander has decided to make it happen this year. The whole team is involved and, as far as he can tell, everyone has kept the secret. Karl is playing with the lights and gives Xander the sign that they’re good to go.

Richard arrives a bit late and for a moment Xander is worried. After all, timing is everything, especially in comedy. But then Richards walks onto the set, sits down behind his desk and everything is going according to plan. Someone shouts that they’re ready to bring on the contestants for a test run and then the lights go out. 

Xander looks over to Richard, who is nothing more than a black silhouette, and then pretends to talk to some person in his ear. Shadows appear in the contestants’ spots and then the lights go back on again. For the tiniest fraction of a second Richard looks confused and Xander wants to curse because he really didn’t expect that amount of composure.

 

“Hello, I’m Alexander Armstrong.” He hears himself say. “Welcome to a special episode of Pointless, the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test. Let’s meet today’s players.”

He wants to turn around to see Richard’s face but if the contestants’ faces are anything to go by he would just be met with the sight of a seemingly calm man who is too big for his or any chair really and whose glasses scream nerd louder than the colours of his tie.

 

“First up, we welcome Gemma and Ian. How do you two know each other?”

Gemma looks at Ian and they both say “We work together.” 

“And what do you do?” It’s hard not to let on what is happening but he keeps it together.

“We work in TV.” Gemma says and bursts into a big smile.

“Do you now. That might come in handy later.” 

It’s an excuse to turn to Richard. 

“Actually, ” Richard looks at one of the papers in front of him, “round two looks like it could be good for you.”

_He is playing along. Why is he playing along? Does he hate it?_

The other six players very surprisingly also turn out to happen to work in TV but so far it hasn’t earned Xander any more than a raised eyebrow. Time to try and go for gold.

 

“There is only one person left for me to introduce,” Xander says and turns to Richard again. “It’s my pointless friend, it’s Richard.”

“Hiya!” Richard nods and gives everyone a big smile. “Good afternoon to you.”

“Top of the afternoon to you.” Xander replies and leans on his podium. 

Richard laughs and Xander gets the feeling he might’ve done the right thing.

“It’s a very special day, today.” Xander starts and with narrowed eyes Richard asks back “Is it?” 

“Oh yes. There may even be presents.”

“You didn’t get me another laptop plug, did you?”

Xander inclines his head and raises his shoulders a bit.

“’Cause I could use another plug for my laptop.”

“Could you.” Xander can’t help but let that boyish grin slip out.

“Yeeeaaaaah.” Richard’s face lights up. “The only thing better than one laptop plug is-“ 

\- two laptop plugs. I know!” Xander feels like the grin might be splitting his face but he sees it mirrored in Richard and decides not to care about what it might look like.

“Is it another plug for my laptop?” Richard asks with playfully bright eyes.

“No.”

“Shame, I could have used one. The current one isn’t doing so well.” 

_Oh, he's good. That disappointed look is almost too convincing._

“Seriously?” 

“Yes.” Richard gives an earnest nod.

“Oh no, I feel really bad now.” 

Richard makes a what-can-you-do-face and Xander feels forced to say something. 

“I do!”

“So what did you get me?”

At this, Xander looks a bit sheepish and puts his hand on the back of his neck. _Two are playing this game,_ he thinks and nearly slips. 

“Did you get me anything at all?” Richard brings out his puppy eyes. 

“No.” 

“Nothing? Not even a cake?”

“Well...” Xander looks at his feet.

“Or a picture of a cake?”

Xander looks back up and laughs. There is a little challenge in Richard’s eyes now that he is only too happy to rise to. 

“Well, it’s a picture _on_ a cake but you only get to eat it if you can tell me what it is.” Xander explains in a triumphant voice that is not unlike that of a child that managed to solve a riddle their older sibling couldn't.

He can see Richard’s competitive side come out by the way his face changes. Karl puts the spotlight on the rest of the team who roll in an oddly shaped cake. It’s round with edges and little spikes and the only thing that is clear is that it must be a country, though that’s the only clue there is. 

Richard smiles at Xander and for a moment Xander thinks that it’s too easy. He decides to work on that rare element of self-doubt another time, the team were convinced it’d be hard.

“It’s definitely a country…” Richard muses and walks around the cake a few times. _He’s enjoying the show._

“It can’t be something familiar. Not Europe, not America…. It looks too rounded to be inland..” He leans down to examine the borders. 

“This is an exact replica?” Richard asks and looks at Paul who nods. 

“Hmm, it’s not a peninsula either; it hasn’t got enough angles for that so it must be an island.”

_Give him a pipe and a stupid hat and he would make a good Sherlock Holmes._

“So it’s not the Central African Republic.” Richard says while looking at the team, most of them trying to hide their giggles.

_He knows. How can he know? Maybe someone did tell him._

After a few false guesses Xander says “You’ve got one more guess. Then it’s game over.” 

Richard gives him a smirk that can only be described as smug. “Then it must be Tuvalu.”

Everyone is clapping and glad they finally get to eat the cake. Xander gets drinks for everyone and thinks he might find out one day how Richard did it. 

 

-

When they step outside, the night is already past the darkest point with the edges of the sky glowing in shades of black and dark blue. The cold air hits them unprepared and Xander wraps his coat tighter around himself. 

“That was a nice, I liked that.” Richard says. “You know what I also like?” He asks and looks up into the sky. 

“What?” Xander expects nothing more than a comment about the weather.

“Laptop plugs.” 

Xander laughs but Richard’s voice has that earnest tone that makes Xander turn and check if Richard means it. There is a twinkle in his eye and Xander laughs again.

“I collect them.”

“Of course you do.” He beams at Richard.

“You know that my laptop has never been switched on until you gave me that first plug for my laptop-

“Yeah.”

“It’s because I never want to use them once I buy them.”

“Do you take them out of the plastic or-“ 

Richard feigns outrage. “You can’t take them out of the plastic!” He lets his mouth hang open and shakes his head. “You can’t break the air seal. No, absolutely not. They lose their value…” He trails off as if lost in thought about that horrible possibility. Then he fixes his eyes on his friend again. “It’s probably like what you do with your posh porcelain.”

“My posh porcelain?” That crinkly smile is back on his face.

“The one with the flowers.”

“They all have flowers on them. We never buy porcelain without flowers.”

“You know the one I mean, the one with the flowers and all the gold.”

“Oh _that_ one. The one with the _gold_ and the flowers. Sure, sure. You are right, it’s exactly the same. We keep the saucers in little plastic bags.” 

Richard smiles that goofy smile at him that shows a lot of teeth. “Thanks for a great evening.”

“My pleasure.” 

 

\- 

When he switches off the lights and goes over all the things of the day in his head, Xander can’t help but smile at the thought that he almost managed to make Richard speechless. It wasn’t the full success he’d hoped for but it was close enough. There is time in the future and he will keep trying.

_Unfortunately, you didn’t manage to find that all-important pointless idea so the jackpot rolls over to next year._


End file.
